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Introducing the Jelly of the Month Club

by Jelly of the Month Club

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1.
Mr. Bullfrog sitting on a lily pad singing a song he's been hopping along all day He loves to sing and play his guitar every evening in the swampy marsh....all alone, always He never hung out on the log with any of the other frogs for a while he was on his own Then one day Mr. Firefly heard the frog and he stopped on by he said "Hey there Frog I'm a banjo player. Let's make this a duo what do you say" the frog said.. Wah, Wah Wah There's nothing like a brand new friend So Mr. Bullfrog and Mr. Firefly singing their songs they're both playing along all day they love to sing and strum those guitars every evening in the swampy marsh Then one day Mr. Bullfrog said, he said "hey there Mr. Firefly, you think there's someone that we could find that knows how to play the xylophone?" Then right out of the everglades popped out Mr. Alligator he said "my name's Mr. Alligator as you know. And I love to play my xylophone." Wah, Wah, Wah There's nothing like a brand new friend
2.
Dolphins And Porpoises Dolphins and porpoises; they are not fish, they are small whales they breathe air just like we do they have skin not scales lots of folks think that they are the same but porpoises are smaller and shy dolphins are playful and their brains are about the same size as mine dolphins and porpoises echolocation is how a dolphin likes to get around they've got sonar like a submarine it's like a seeing eye dog for sound dolphins like to stick together in pods, schools, or herds Yellow Fin tuna like to join them for dinner and come back for seconds and thirds dolphins and porpoises some dolphins shed their outer skin about every two hours that's why their skin is so smooth and even smoother in two hours porpoises are fast swimmers with a speed of 34 mph and their thick blubber keeps them warm and it even keeps them safe most dolphins live in the ocean but a few kinds live in fresh water dolphins and porpoises are mammals that live in the sea (our next topic: sea otters) dolphins and porpoises dolphins and porpoises are excellent communicators that means what's for lunch that means spend your parents' money on aging rock stars CD's, kids I actually don't know what that one means wait a minute you can't say that on a children's record!
3.
he Great Lemonade Stand Off Of Maple Street Oh what a lovely day to sell some lemonade I'm gonna set up shop and sell it on my block I'll need some sugar, lemons, Ice, a table, and a sign come try Mikeys lemonade - It only costs a dime, for a limited time Oh what is this I see? No, no this cannot be this kid across the street named Crumb is trying to copy me oh the audacity, oh the humanity there ain't no way you're selling lemonade on Maple Street Ya well, I got the perfect spot more shade then you have got and all I've gotta say that my stand is better than yours Well I got a lemon tree in my backyard you see my lemons are infinity Ya my stand is better than yours my juice is freshly squeezed so vitaminly C and that can only mean that my stands better than yours well maybe in your dreams you sweeten artificially It tastes like salty sour peanut butter rancid anchovies and rotten moldy cheese When it comes to a stand off I'm a wizard like Gandolf mine is the most majestic mystic lemonisticly around I can sell it out in the cold to a family of Eskimos In fact the first to get the sale wins the bet and the other has to close Then old man Bert from around the way stopped at Mike's for some lemonade he said, "I'm so thirsty I'll drink 10 straight up" then Mikey realized he did not have cups Then Crumb said "come on now Mr. Bert sure love your Hawaiian shirt (why thanks) how bout some ready made country style lemonade" I'll take one icy chilled can you break a 20-dollar bill? uh oh this is strange I don't have any change You don't have that he don't have this this is quite ridiculous you two should form a partnership cuz two heads are better than one Iit's painful to admit but we would get more done and we both would benefit cuz two heads are better than one Hey crumb what do ya say I bet we'd have some fun together selling lemonade cuz two heads are better than one working together is a way to get it done now the lemonade is better there's no comparison We use a hint of lime grown in the summer sun, our lemonade tastes so sublime cuz two heads are better than one
4.
Tell Someone 03:03
Tell Someone Call Edwin Meese or tell the police, Stuart Copeland, your priest or rabbi press 911 or tell a nun, school counselor, or your best friend If you feel that something's just not right, it's good to tell someone or if something's preying heavy on your mind tell your dad or mom or Chaka Khan Tell your doctor or mail a letter to a giraffe or a very tall adult send a text message or email a question you're very important even if you're Texan If you feel that something's just not right it's good to tell someone or if something's preying heavy on your mind tell your dad or mom or Warren Spahn Hey Bert? Yes Mr. Crumb? There's something I need to tell someone about. Hey I'm here for you buddy go ahead. Last night I wet the bed Oh that's all? Been there done that. I'm there now! If you feel that something's just not right it's good to tell someone or if something's preying heavy on your mind you gotta tell someone Hey Doctor Todd I was hoping you could help me with a problem I've been having. Sure, what's up? Well every time I take a sip of my hot cocoa, I get a sharp pain in my right eye. Mike, as your doctor in my professional opinion you gotta take the spoon out of the cup!! If you feel that something's just not right it's good to tell someone or if something's preying heavy on your mind tell your mom or dad or Cheryl Ladd
5.
Cucina 02:54
We're in the cucina I love cooking in the kitchen with you mama My papa got back from the corner store right across the street He brought back a bucket of guacamole and a couple of pounds of meat My mama's cutting up the onions and putting them in a bowl right next to the tomatoes and the cilantro Don't forget the avocados and the shredded cheddar cheese our friends are on their way and it's almost time to eat We're in the cucina I love cooking in the kitchen with you mama _____________________________________________ My mama is a wonderful cook (she's a wonderful cook) she could write her own cookbook (her very own cookbook) When it comes to the pasta it's religion like Rastafarian with parmesian it's off the hook! We're in the cucina I love cooking in the kitchen with you (my) mama
6.
Welcome to the carnival witness the wonders of the world step right up and test your strength and see the bearded girl at the carnival... you won't believe your eyes leave you second guessing guaranteed to mesmerize well if you've got the gold and want your fortune told lady Esmerelda will look into your soul here at the carnival We'll take away your breath, fill you full of goosebumps, and we'll scare you half to death... Welcome to the carnival! Well all you Misses and you Misters welcome to tonight's affair on this bliss enchanted evening there's a mist throughout the air so crisp that you can kiss the mysteries that lurk the fair with our whispers we'll make history come join us if you dare! We've got a house of mirrors you'll see yourself so silly that you'll laugh yourself to tears at the carnival Cotton candy's currency but it leaves your fingers sticky and it rots away your teeth now tell me who's afraid of a haunted house go ahead and lose your mind we got a lost and found our clowns will swallow swords and they fit 20 to a car don't miss the one eyed gypsy when he's playing his guitar Welcome to the carnival! Funnel cakes, ventriloquists, & mimes and puppeteers a juggling unicycle is in a haunted house of mirrors acrobatic elephants trapezing through the air a freak show that's so shocking you can't help but not to stare a snake taming strongman with a flair for spinning blades a fire eating monkey who can guess your age and weight Calendars and caricature your face onto a poster A tilt a whirl you'll surely hurl on the fastest roller coaster The carnival has come to town tell me have you seen the clowns on the merry go round? We are the clowns on the merry go round we like to ride it upside down we sometimes smile and we sometimes frown we're the clowns on the merry go round Welcome to the carnival, you must not wait to step inside these wooden gates Audiences levitate before your very eyes. We've got every sight to see underneath this canopy There is no other place to be to occupy your time Welcome to the carnival!!
7.
A,E,I,O,U, and sometimes Y.. Well there's so many rules hidden in the English language it's so easy to be wrong, and corrected and mistaken so we wrote a little song about the language of our nation Now let's not forget to conjugate the verbs Don't you wanna know about the English language? Well I know a guy named Pete he's a capricorn mechanic and he likes to work on cars and loves surfin the Atlantic and his favorite color's blue and he hates to go to the dentist and that is an example of a run on sentence... Don't you wanna know about the English language? Your and you're yeah they might sound the same but they're completely different words and they're often to blame for creating a gramatically incorrect catastrophe that's why it's my philosophy to always use an apostrophe Don't you wanna know about the English language? Hey kids here's a tip that you should memorize don't forget to cross your T's and dot your lower case J's An allegory's like a metaphor but extended in which object, person's, actions are narrated and equated with an underlying meaning that has moral significance personified by abstract ideas (I'm not getting this) An idiom exaggerates events that may transpire Like it's raining cats & dogs or getting closer to the wire A group of lines in poetry is often called a stanza A noun can be a person, place or thing (like Tony Danza) There's a couple animals that like to use their vowels (moo) goes the cow the cat goes (meow) and (hoot) goes the strigiform Don't you wanna know about the English language? A,E, I, O, U
8.
Girlfriend (free) 03:29
Hey Todd, Bert said he wanted a solo on this one.....Oh? Really? I got me a girlfriend lives down by the lake said I got me a girlfriend she's skinny as a rake I got me a girlfriend (he's got him a girlfriend) I got me some tadpoles I kept them in a bag said I got me some tadpoles for when my spirits sag I got me some tadpoles (he's got him some tadpoles) Lets do it...Waaah Waah..hey! I got me some shrimp dip (shrimp dip) I kept it in my car (it's a Cadillac) said I got me some shrimp dip (shrimp dip) that's why I'm a great big star (like Pat Benatar) I got me some shrimp dip (he's got him some shrimp dip) Lets do it...Waaah Waah..hey! Hey Bert, Mike Said you're doing a solo!! Right after the bridge!! It's Joe Stalin's Cadillac... It's Joe Stalin's Cadillac We're gonna drive around the back in Joe Stalin's Cadillac It's LBJ's Cadillac.. It's LBJ's cadillac no turning back in LBJ's Cadillac General Pinochet's Cadillac ladies and gentleman this is General Pinochet's Cadillac you can't go left.. in General Pinochet's Cadillac Lets do it...Waaah Waah..hey! I can't take it anymore, give me a solo Bert...here I go!! (solo) The guitar solo heard round the world: This just in from Japan: Japanese phrase.. worst solo ever! From India: That solo was worse than my grandma's shrimp vindaloo From Jamaica: That guitar solo was murder. From Italy: Momma Mia, somebody cut off my ears From Down under: Don't quit your day job. From Sweden: Esh veedin ohdo Odu ohgh From BBC london: Has he flipped his Ziggens? that is truly the worst guitar solo I've ever heard Ladies, Ladies...no autographs at this time...thank you!
9.
10.
"Hey kids! It's time for the Timmy Turtlehead Show! And here's the star of our show! Timmy Turtlehead!" "Hi kids! It's me! Your old pal! Timmy Turtlehead! Do you like songs? Today we're gonna do a song! Oh boy! See I'm a turtle! And when something happens, turtles peek their heads out of their shell! That's kinda what this song is all about! Well are you ready band? Let's do it!" _____________________________________________ Timmy Timmy Turtlehead he's your friend telling you it's time to go! Timmy Timmy Turtlehead he's your friend telling you it's time to go Turtlehead, turtlehead, turtlehead that's Timmy Turtlehead, turtlehead, turtlehead that's Timmy Timmy Timmy Turtlehead he's your friend Timmy Timmy Turtlehead he's your friend Timmy Timmy Turtlehead he's your friend Hey kids! Did you have a big lunch? Well, like a turtle sticks his head out, your body is talking to you! Turtlehead,turtlehead, turtlehead that's Timmy Turtlehead,turtlehead, turtlehead that's Timmy Timmy Timmy Turtlehead he's your friend Timmy Timmy Turtlehead he's your friend Timmy Timmy Turtlehead he's your friend
11.
I feel a little hungry, got a rumblin' in my tummy I want waffles tonight (He wants waffles tonight) Breakfast for dinner ya you know it's a winner, I'm eating waffles tonight he's eating waffles tonight so won't you l'eggo my eggo and pass the me the Jamima I want waffles tonight it don't matter the time of day I'm eating waffles tonight Come on now I think you know what I want (he wants waffles tonight) In fact I think you know what I need so l'eggo my eggo and pass me the Jamima I want waffles tonight it don't matter the time of day you know what I want (he wants waffles tonight) Ah, you know what I need (he's eating waffles tonight) I feel a little hungry, got some rumblins' in my tummy I want waffles tonight (he wants waffles tonight) breakfast for dinner ya you know it's a winner I'm eating waffles tonight he's eating waffles tonight so won't you l'eggo my eggo and pass the me the Jamima I want waffles all the time I'm eating waffles tonight (he's eating waffles tonight) I'm eating some waffles and I'm eating them tonight (he's going to eat some waffles tonight) "Hey fellas that was great, are you kiddin, I respect what you're doing but you know there's something missin' you know what I'm saying? How about we throw in a little Tuba? How about a little more cowbell? Well I'm just throwing this out there but how about a couple of these? Ah come on Bert we already had a fart song! Hey guys are you thinking what I'm thinking? CHIPMUNKS! Now that was perfect! That's what I call the jelly of the Month Club! How do I join?

about

Our first full-length album, "Introducing, Jelly of the Month Club" released October 8th, 2013 highlights folk, rock, blues, swing jazz, ska, punk, surf, bluegrass, and soul. Your ear will hear wide-ranging influences such as Danny Elfman, They Might Be Giants, Benny Goodman, The Ventures, the Specials, Flogging Molly, Elvis Presley, and Louis Prima.

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released October 13, 2013

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Jelly of the Month Club Long Beach, California

Jelly of the Month Club is: Bud Gaugh (famed drummer from Sublime); Capt. Dr. Todd (horns and keys from Sublime & Sublime with Rome); Bert Susanka (lead singer from the legendary surf-punk band the Ziggens); Mic Dangerously (lead singer and guitarist from the funk rock band Zen Robbi); and Mr. Crumb (lead singer, guitarist and multi-instrumentalist from his own alternative rock group, Mr. Crumb). ... more

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